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Just a Dream..."Oh gosh! Would you please be so kind and follow my lesson?"
Yeah, my teacher was talking to me...again.
Somehow I didn't care about it. Actually that wasn't normal for me, because I really like my english lessons at school. Well, not this time.
"Yeah, we all know that you have a visitor with you, but please concentrate on this little translation task here, would you?"
"Yayaya, I'll do it..."
I looked around and the pupil sitting next to me, well she looked at me with jealous and disappointed eyes.
Something I didn't care about much either.
We were lucky, the lessons just ended with the nice sound of the schoolbell.
I packed my things together, took her hand and we went out on the corridor.
Everyone was rushing along, right next to us.
Still holding our hands, we kissed us.
It was somekind of funny, because nobody saw her before, nobody knew her and well, she was my girlfriend. Which was another think, most of the others couldn't understand neither.
She came with me at home, simply bec
I won't be there anymore.Let her go. They said inside of him.
Why do you keep hurting yourself? They asked him.
I deserve it.
Please stop it. They begged him.
Is it worth it? They started to ask.
I don't know.
What is it now? They wanted to know.
I lost her.
Did you? They tried to cheer him up.
Yes, I did.
How do you know? They asked him again.
She's not the same anymore.
...and? They bugged him.
And that won't be the person that I learned to love.
And now you're holding on memories and dreams. They noted.
Wasn't it obvious?
Maybe. We don't know. Did you know it? They exhausted their border.
We won't. Because you won't. Wasn't that obvious? They nailed him down.
Wait! PLEASE! STOP IT! Think of it, she wouldn't want you to do something like this. They begged him to stop himself.
No. Remember? She's not there anymore.
I won't be there anymore.
The Art of breaking apartRight now or better, lately he was in a strange situation of not knowing what he exactly want, nor what he doesn't want.
The last few weeks were filled with sickness and disgust towards other people and since yesterday evening it started to turn around.
He was in a good mood today, but somehow he denied it;
"I have the feeling that I don't deserve it now or later. It just feels not right."
Being alone and sad is something he learned to appreciate.
After a lot of disappointments, trustless stories and bitterness,
the wish for a person who stays with him is somehow gone.
Maybe it'll come back in some days or weeks or maybe even months but not now.
He doesn't know it. He said, that he can't force those thoughts and feelings
again on his mind.
It would finally break apart.
Is everything fine?Sick.
He didn't know what was going on.
It started some weeks ago. The feeling of being grossed out just by looking at other people.
He doesn't want to go into cities anymore, because he feels disgusted by their presence near him.
He told his friends often enough, that he wishes himself a person to be not alone in this place. Even this wish, which he kept for more than a year, was just gone.
Being alone, having his peace was now his only wish.
But it's one of the hardest things in this world to have some time alone.
I learned that in the last few weeks.
Going back to old cuts didn't helped, dreaming of A. in W. neither. Losing myself in arts or fantasy didn't worked out.
So what's to do now?
Taking the role and act further like everthing's fine.
He don't know.
I don't know.
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More